Parenting is a 24/7 job!
Parenting is the hardest job you’ll ever have, but; it is very rewarding. It’s a 24/7 job and whether you’re sick or tired, it doesn’t stop. You are responsible for them no matter what age your children are! Your work with them are never done.
When I was pregnant with my first child, I was ecstatic because he was a miracle baby. I had a miscarriage prior and it was devastating. I thought to myself, did I do something? We feel responsible to give them the best life possible to our best abilities and I felt I failed.
I blamed myself, but deep down I knew it was not my fault. I quickly had to get over the fact I might feel guilty more often. we want to be perfect for our children, but it’s not realistic.
Here are my 5 tips that I implemented for myself on how to be a good parent.
Tip #1 Don’t blame yourself
My first introductory lesson to being a mother was to not blame myself. You can’t blame yourself for something you don’t have control over.
There’s going to be moments where you will be frustrated and you might take it out on your child for misbehaving Out of frustration, you yelled at your child and it hurt their feelings. Don’t beat yourself over it.
Instead of feeling guilty, analyze the situation and think of effective ways to discipline your child or what you would do differently. Don’t blame yourself! You’re going to make mistakes, you’re only human.
Tip #2 Communication is key
Communication is key! Depending on your child’s age, there’s a way to communicate with them. You might have to kneel to your two-year old going through their terrible two’s and do what they call “Match and Mirroring”. This is a form of communication and it strengthens the connection between parents and children. Acknowledging their emotions validates that their voice matters and creates a safe place to express their genuine feelings without judgement. It builds a strong relationship between a parent and a child.
Tip #3 Make a habit of praising your child
I can’t stress this enough. PRAISE YOUR CHILD!!!.
Letting your child know that they are doing well, in school, at home, during recreational activities, EVERYWHERE and ANYTHING they do is IMPORTANT. It builds confidence, a sense of self and independency. Praising your child for doing little the things is a start. Be specific and applaud your children in detail like, ” Great job helping your sister build that sandcastle”.
Tip #4 Reflecting on your own upbringing
You’ve probably been told this before, forgive me if I’m too repetitive, but; It’s important to reflect on YOUR childhood and adolescence experiences. I say this to new parents all the time. You’ll be surprised as how much this affects our parenting style. Your upbringing builds a perspective on how you parent your children in the future. You might have experienced something that you never want your children to endure, this is a great learning experience on how to avoid the same issue. It helps us reflect and understand the reasons why we parent the way they we do.
Tip #5 Take care of yourself first!
You heard the saying “put your oxygen mask on first, before helping others”.
As parents, we prioritize our family and forget ourselves all the time. Sometimes we need to put our motherly instincts on airplane mode. It’s important to take care of your mental health. Being a parent can be exhausting at times, you need to recharge yourself. Go for a day spa and get manicure and pedicure. Go to your favourite book store, grab a book to read, get some tea or coffee and enjoy your time off. To do a good job at parenting and be good parents, we have to nurture and take care of our mind, body and soul.
Take it one step at a time
Parenting doesn’t come with a manual book to show us what to do. Everything is trial and error. As long as we are doing our best, that’s all that matters. Just remember, we are humans and we make mistakes.
LETS BE REAL… you might not be able to buy your child the newest pair of sneakers or most popular toy in the children’s isle. We beat ourselves down, when we’re not able to give our child everything. Remember that your love will always be the one thing that your child will remember and NEED, not the materialistic things.